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Thursday, 05 February 2009

  • My weekend trip was fantastic.  That's all I'm going to say publically.

    And, we've found a good way to get around him being so far away.  Skype. If you've never heard of it, check it out.  If you are in a long distance relationship, check it out.  Basically with the service and an internet connection you can call, video call and IM people free who also use it.  Free download. 

    Now 6500 miles doesn't seem quite so far away.

    Because afterall, I have a wedding to plan. ;)

Thursday, 29 January 2009

  • Shall Explain A Bit

    So, how did we meet?  I'm not sure exactly.  It was probably in junior high.  So, we met a long, long time ago and nothing about our first meeting left any sort of impression on me to give you now.

    What brought us together?  Ha.  That's weird too.  See, we've talked online sporadically a few times over the last year or two.  You know, like, "hey, how've you been?" or "what have you been up to?".  Nothing fantastic for sure.  In fact, I was either newly engaged, or married, when we first started talking again.  I sent a message on MySpace a couple of months back and we talked a bit.  Found out he was going to be home around Christmas.  I knew I'd be up in that area at some point visiting.  So, we made unofficial plans to try and hang out at some point.  I ended up being in town for New Year's Eve.  Just three days before he had to leave again.  So, at 1AM on New Year's Day we met up at the bar where I was hanging out with my cousins.  And at 6:15AM we parted ways from his friend's house.  And, well, we've talked every single day since then. 

    I say it was the New Year's kiss he gave me that set me thinking I'd like to be in a relationship.  And while a kiss is not an indicator of compatibility.  I will say it was quite possibly the best kiss ever.  And I've kissed a lot of people.

    Why is this different?  My heart and my head are in this together.  Every other relationship I've either loved, but my head said, "WARNING", or I knew in my head it was a good thing with a nice guy, but my heart just wasn't in it.  With him -- it's natural, normal and comfortable.  And while I realize we don't see each other and that 99% of our conversation is text messaging -- I still haven't met anyone else I could spend 10 hours going back and forth wtih while never running out of things to say or ask.  In fact, we spent a good three hours one night just asking each other questions. 

    What comes next?  I hope it's all good things.  I really, really do.  I honestly believe that I love him and I honestly believe that he loves me.  And with him being gone we'll be tested to prove that in the form of communication through letters, occasional emails and maybe a phone call every once in awhile.  And quite honestly, I sort of like that we have to get to know each other better this way.  I like that it can't be all physical.  I like that just hearing his voice will be a treat and not the norm.  And yes, we are discussing getting married already.  And we've talked about having children together soon.  And we've talked about all kinds of things that I wouldn't generally discuss with anyone at this point because, well, they wouldn't normally come up.  But, when all you can do is talk, I guess you talk a lot. 

    I'm excited.  It's probably the strangest thing ever.  Meeting up with an old school friend and then winding up falling in love via text messages from hundreds of miles apart.  I can't imagine anyone else knows how this feels.  I don't imagine it happens very often.  But, I'm so, so, so happy it did.  I really can't wait to see what the future holds for us.  Cause as he says, it's us now.  We just have to decide where we want to go.



Tuesday, 27 January 2009

  • Friday can't come soon enough!

    Just two more days...maybe it's still technically three days, but not much longer and we'll finally see each other again.  I'm literally floating on air.  I can't wait to just hold him.  Like it's going to be the best hug I've ever had.  And to kiss him again -- damn.  Have I missed being able to do that for the last month.  How I'll go longer, I have no idea.  But I will because I have to.  Because I love him. 

    And we're texting right now.  And I had to be really open about how I feel about myself in regards to a thing or two.  Gosh that was hard.  I hope he gets it.  I'm sure he will.  It wasn't any major make or break kind of thing.  I don't know.

    But it doesn't matter.  Because I'm in love with him.  He's in love with me.  I just can't wait.  It's going to be such an amazing weekend.  Like Christmas -- but better.  And for me to say something will be better than Christmas is saying a lot.  Cause I love Christmas like nothing else.

Monday, 26 January 2009

  • So, now we know where he'll be stationed.  And it sucks cause it's really far away.  But, good things are going to happen in spite of it all.  We're talking about getting married on one of his visits back home.  Just so long as it's after June of this year it will all be okay.

    Honestly, I don't know how this all happened.  I don't know what connection we formed just seeing each other for a few hours one night -- but it's amazing.  I can't believe how connected and bonded and completely in love I feel.  I have honestly never felt this way before.  I've gotten butterflies, but I've never been walking on air.  I've wanted to kiss someone really bad, but I've never missed the sound of someone's voice so much.  I've never asked someone to leave me a voicemail just so I could hear their voice any time I need it. 

    I've never spent hours texting back and forth just so I could talk and feel like they were sitting next to me.  I've never had so many dreams about one person. 

    This has just never happened before and I don't know why it's happened now.  I don't care.  I'm just so insanely happy.  I can't wait to see what happens next.  And I can't wait to hold him in my arms on Friday night.  That will be the most awesome thing I've done in a very long time.  And when I finally get to tell him I love him while looking into his eyes and hear him say the same -- it will be like life has just begun in some senses. 

    Can I just say, for the first time in a long time - I want another baby.  With all my heart I want to carry our love for nine months.  And that, while scary and life altering, brings a huge smile to my face anytime I think about it.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

  • It's so hard to even know how to put it into words.  How to even explain what my heart and my head finally agree on.  This love that happened so unexpectedly.  And comes with so many boundaries.  But yet, despite all the hurdles we'll have to jump in the time to come -- I feel that he's worth it.  No.. I know that he's worth it. 

    Every single bit of him is worth every single bit of time we have to spend apart. 

    I guess I'm just not sure how to do it.  How to go so long apart?  How to deal with being thousands of miles apart?

    *sigh*



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